Fish That Are A Bit Too Keen To Leave The Dating Pool...

So I thought I'd do a blog entry in contrast to my previous entry 'Fish That Never Even Left The Dating Pool', all about the guys who send me messages which are a bit over-keen for someone they've never met or spoken to. Unlike the guys who send messages ensuring they're never going to leave the dating pool, these over-friendly guys send passionate messages which tend to just creep me out and make me think they're a bit too eager to leave the dating pool. Their messages, whilst having the possibility of being viewed as 'sweet' and 'endearing', actually just come across as insincere and a bit bizzarre...here's a sample of some of the ones I've received just in the past week (not sure that's something to brag about!! haha):

For example, the other day I received a message from a guy called Sunny which said: 'I guarantee you that your inbox is flooded with messages lol. Your soo gorgeous, How on earth are you single lol :-) how long you been single for? Would love to get to know ya better...'
I didn't reply as I just felt it was a bit cheesy. Sorry, Sunny!

I also received this slightly confusing and contradictory message from a Danish guy: 'You look so cute... So much friend potential?? Wait.... are you looking for a BF? haha. But I still want you :)'
So I'm confused...is he saying I'm cute, but only as a friend? And that he thinks it's LOLworthy that I'm looking for a boyfriend (which I'm not, showing he didn't read my profile properly, D'OH!)? Or is he saying, that despite looking cute and having the potential to be a friend, he wants me to be girlfriend material? I think the meaning of his message may have got lost in translation.

 A message I received from a guy in Cambridge: 'Hey :) you seen real nice :) I would love to get to know you better, message me back if you want to chat :) xxx'

Not to sound judgemental, but as an English Literature graduate (snobby sounding, but no shame here!) I get a bit OCD about spelling, and you would not believe the number of guys I've come across whilst online dating who write 'seen' instead of 'seem'. It drives me mental!!

 And then I received this mini-essay from a guy in Greenwich, which is possibly my favourite of this bunch of messages: 'Hey how are you? Well my name is Dan and I'm 24, I'm down to eart and also can be really careing and thoughtful at times. I'm a guy who you can have a normal conversation with as well as a person to talk to when you need some one. I speak my mind all the time but think about what I'm going to say before, so I don't offend any one, I'm funny most of the time and I'm always smiling, it takes a lot to get me upset or annoyed and I'm good at hiding it if I'm upset or what ever because I just want to see people happy and I don't want them to get upset if I am. I'll also do what it takes to make sure you feel comfortable even if it's I have to go to the other side of the park just to talk to you, I can be shy at times but it will only be the first time we meet or I'll be nervous and be quite. I'm here just to make some new friends and some people to have a laugh with or to Gosip about the neighbours ?? I want to stay single for now and just to take it step by step if even thing did click. Best way I could Describe my self :)'

Yup, because everyone LOVES to walk to the other side of the park to 'gosip about the neighbours' with a guy?! Am I missing something?? My mum suggests this might be a euphemism for something much more exciting, so if anyone can enlighten me as to its true meaning, I'd be grateful!

My next blog entry will be about my date with a guy who's a doctor :)
1940s Girl x

Date 2: If Only It Was As 'Short' As His Anecdote...

My second experience of a date with a guy I'd met on a dating site was the definition of awkward...

 On paper, everything looked good. He was my age, worked in a theme park (!) and was half Italian, which as my cousin brilliantly put it; was 'suitably exotic'. After arranging a day, time and location (it sounds like a secret mission - it would have been a hell of a lot more exciting if it had been one), various signals did start to appear that were perhaps subtly suggesting this date wasn't meant to happen. I'm not a spiritual person generally, but I was definitely picking up on some signs from the universe - lesson learned: always listen to your intuition/the universe/whatever when you get warnings like this:

 - the guy had to (for various reasons) postpone the day we were meeting twice

- I had to (for various reasons) postpone the day we were meeting twice

- on the way to meeting him I passed 2 car accidents which caused traffic jams so I was 30 minutes late

- on arrival it took us 15 minutes to find each other

 I chose to ignore these signs but they did foretell what was to come.

 The lunch only lasted an hour and a half and was painful; I've never had so many drawn out silences with someone. We had literally nothing to say to each other. He didn't ask me any questions so I had to try to lead the conversation by asking anything I could think of and failing spectacularly. It soon become apparent that we had nothing in common, even slightly, and therefore nothing to discuss. The food we'd ordered finally arriving, after what seemed like hours, offered some much needed respite. There was an old man sitting alone at the table next to us who was having a more enthralling conversation with himself than the two of us were.

After the meal, sitting in silence yet again, the guy suddenly announced: "I know something that really excited me the other day." ('Please be a story of some hilarious event/epic fail at the theme park where you work,' I silently prayed). His next comment: "In Starbucks they have an extra, regular sized coffee you can order even though they don't have it listed on their menu. It's called a 'short'."

And that's where the title of this entry comes in....as I said to my mum, "Even if I was a barista that's not an interesting anecdote!"

 

Ay karumba!

1940s Girl x

Fish That Never Even Left The Dating Pool....

Before writing another entry on another date, I thought I'd blog about some of the hilarious and not-so-hilarious chat-up lines I've received from guys via online dating sites.

When I decided to join a dating site to get back into the world of dating, a lot of friends warned me about the dodgy messages I was likely to receive. If I'm honest, I assumed they were just being over-protective or over-sensitive....how wrong could I be?

 I've received literally hundreds (not exaggerating!) of undesired messages from guys, aged from 16(!) to 58(!), also ranging from a simple 'Hello!' (imaginative first message from the 16 year old...) to 'Hi. Can I ask would you be up for helping an older man with a harmless little fantasy? It's nothing really bad and you don't even have to take your clothes off (unless you want to!)' (from a 58 year old man).

 If any of these guys were what I was looking for, or attractive in either personality or looks, I might be flattered or at least intrigued; but nope, sadly none of these men have been fish I'd want to take out of the dating pool! I really think they should change their first-message approach on an online dating site, especially when other first messages I've received from some of these guys have included:

'You're fit. Want to come round to my flat tonight?'

 'Ur boobs look huge. How big r they?'

 'Are you on here to meet up for sex...with me? ;)'

'Can I send you a pic of my ****?'

'I want to put my face between your butt cheeks.'

I've got to admit, despite not wanting to respond to any of these messages, they did make me laugh....A LOT (hence why I'm blogging about them).

And, last but not least, there are those who like to keep things extra short and sweet and just get straight to the point, like this guy who simply typed:

 

'Anal?'

 

What a group of charmers!
1940s Girl x

P.S. My next blog entry will reveal some of the lovely messages I've received from guys online, just to show they're not all only after one thing or great at writing highly-inappropriate first messages :P

Date 1: Perform the feeling of 'nervousness'.

 

At the end of March I had my first date with a guy I'd met through online dating....

On the day we met I had the usual first date nerves, with some added nerves as I'd never met up with a guy I'd met online before. It's surprising what made me feel nervous though...I've obviously had dates and boyfriends before, but never with someone I've not met before in person, so I felt nervous not knowing how tall the guy was, how he walked and moved, his mannerisms and just how he interacted in day to day life really. It's hard to explain, but not knowing these intricate details of a person's behaviour and character, did increase the nerves!!

When we met up in person, thankfully neither of us seemed that outwardly nervous and there were no awkward silences (which are my least favourite part of first dates - there's nothing more uncomfortable than a good, long, painful silence), so both of us seemed pretty comfortable about the whole first date situation; or so I thought....

After chatting for a bit we decided to go for dinner, the classic, first-date scenario. Oh God, even just thinking about it now makes me feel uncomfortable. We sat down, and after ordering our drinks and waiting for our food, it literally felt like the date had become an audition which the guy in question had responded to, and I was the director who had asked him to 'portray the sensation of feeling nervous'. If this had been the case, if I had been the director of a play asking this guy to convey the emotion of nervousness to me, this guy would have got cast in the play without a moment's hesitation. He'd have NAILED that audition. He literally couldn't sit still from the moment we ordered our drinks. He'd move from holding his chin in his hand, to folding his arms, to stretching, to putting his arms behind his head, to picking up the drink and then putting it back down (without taking a sip from it), all in the space of a few seconds, without pausing for breath or to sit still for a moment. It made me feel stressed.

 I've honestly no idea what I did to make this poor guy so nervous. I do wonder if it had something to do with me being 2 and a half years older than him, and I've never dated a younger guy before, but whatever it was, it creeped me out as much as I seemed to be creeping him out.

 Once the food arrived his nerves did thankfully calm down. But still, it kind of made me feel a bit uncomfortable for the rest of the evening, worrying what I'd done to make him so nervous.

 He did text me afterwards saying he'd found me so 'amazing' in person that his nerves had got the better of him (kudos to him for admitting to the nerves!), but aside from the nerves, I decided I didn't really like the idea of being a 'cougar', and I don't think he did either, from how nervous he got!....So, I decided he wasn't my 'lobster' ('Friends' and seafood reference, how apt!) and we should both throw each other back into the dating pool.

 

Onwards and upwards!

1940s girl x

Hello!

Hello and welcome to Fish I've Thrown Back. Your first question upon reaching this blog may well be (and probably should be!) why is it called what it is? Simply because this blog is going to document a year in the world of first dates which are arranged through my use of an online dating site. Lots of friends I've spoken to and things I've read in the media, refer to these dating sites as being another way of reaching all those other 'fish' in the dating pool you wouldn't have met otherwise.

After two not so brilliant dates in the past week, I decided not to see either guy again, and my dad came up with the concept of these two guys being 'fish I'd thrown back into the dating pool'. It was then my mum's idea, after hearing some of the anecdotes from my two dates, to write them down and then blog about them, as they made for some interesting and funny stories. And as online dating has gained so much popularity in recent years I thought her idea was genius, and would be a perfect way of interacting and connecting with and entertaining fellow 20-somethings in the online world without having to date any of you who might be reading this ;)

So here it is....after consciously avoiding the dating scene for a year or so after getting my heart broken, I decided 2014 was the perfect time to get back on it and to try out the infamous world of online dating. I'm going to share my journey with you, and hope that, whether it persuades you to or dissuades you from trying out online dating; you still find it an entertaining read. Thanks for stopping by!


1940s Girl. x