Fish That Are A Bit Too Keen To Leave The Dating Pool...

So I thought I'd do a blog entry in contrast to my previous entry 'Fish That Never Even Left The Dating Pool', all about the guys who send me messages which are a bit over-keen for someone they've never met or spoken to. Unlike the guys who send messages ensuring they're never going to leave the dating pool, these over-friendly guys send passionate messages which tend to just creep me out and make me think they're a bit too eager to leave the dating pool. Their messages, whilst having the possibility of being viewed as 'sweet' and 'endearing', actually just come across as insincere and a bit bizzarre...here's a sample of some of the ones I've received just in the past week (not sure that's something to brag about!! haha):

For example, the other day I received a message from a guy called Sunny which said: 'I guarantee you that your inbox is flooded with messages lol. Your soo gorgeous, How on earth are you single lol :-) how long you been single for? Would love to get to know ya better...'
I didn't reply as I just felt it was a bit cheesy. Sorry, Sunny!

I also received this slightly confusing and contradictory message from a Danish guy: 'You look so cute... So much friend potential?? Wait.... are you looking for a BF? haha. But I still want you :)'
So I'm confused...is he saying I'm cute, but only as a friend? And that he thinks it's LOLworthy that I'm looking for a boyfriend (which I'm not, showing he didn't read my profile properly, D'OH!)? Or is he saying, that despite looking cute and having the potential to be a friend, he wants me to be girlfriend material? I think the meaning of his message may have got lost in translation.

 A message I received from a guy in Cambridge: 'Hey :) you seen real nice :) I would love to get to know you better, message me back if you want to chat :) xxx'

Not to sound judgemental, but as an English Literature graduate (snobby sounding, but no shame here!) I get a bit OCD about spelling, and you would not believe the number of guys I've come across whilst online dating who write 'seen' instead of 'seem'. It drives me mental!!

 And then I received this mini-essay from a guy in Greenwich, which is possibly my favourite of this bunch of messages: 'Hey how are you? Well my name is Dan and I'm 24, I'm down to eart and also can be really careing and thoughtful at times. I'm a guy who you can have a normal conversation with as well as a person to talk to when you need some one. I speak my mind all the time but think about what I'm going to say before, so I don't offend any one, I'm funny most of the time and I'm always smiling, it takes a lot to get me upset or annoyed and I'm good at hiding it if I'm upset or what ever because I just want to see people happy and I don't want them to get upset if I am. I'll also do what it takes to make sure you feel comfortable even if it's I have to go to the other side of the park just to talk to you, I can be shy at times but it will only be the first time we meet or I'll be nervous and be quite. I'm here just to make some new friends and some people to have a laugh with or to Gosip about the neighbours ?? I want to stay single for now and just to take it step by step if even thing did click. Best way I could Describe my self :)'

Yup, because everyone LOVES to walk to the other side of the park to 'gosip about the neighbours' with a guy?! Am I missing something?? My mum suggests this might be a euphemism for something much more exciting, so if anyone can enlighten me as to its true meaning, I'd be grateful!

My next blog entry will be about my date with a guy who's a doctor :)
1940s Girl x

Date 2: If Only It Was As 'Short' As His Anecdote...

My second experience of a date with a guy I'd met on a dating site was the definition of awkward...

 On paper, everything looked good. He was my age, worked in a theme park (!) and was half Italian, which as my cousin brilliantly put it; was 'suitably exotic'. After arranging a day, time and location (it sounds like a secret mission - it would have been a hell of a lot more exciting if it had been one), various signals did start to appear that were perhaps subtly suggesting this date wasn't meant to happen. I'm not a spiritual person generally, but I was definitely picking up on some signs from the universe - lesson learned: always listen to your intuition/the universe/whatever when you get warnings like this:

 - the guy had to (for various reasons) postpone the day we were meeting twice

- I had to (for various reasons) postpone the day we were meeting twice

- on the way to meeting him I passed 2 car accidents which caused traffic jams so I was 30 minutes late

- on arrival it took us 15 minutes to find each other

 I chose to ignore these signs but they did foretell what was to come.

 The lunch only lasted an hour and a half and was painful; I've never had so many drawn out silences with someone. We had literally nothing to say to each other. He didn't ask me any questions so I had to try to lead the conversation by asking anything I could think of and failing spectacularly. It soon become apparent that we had nothing in common, even slightly, and therefore nothing to discuss. The food we'd ordered finally arriving, after what seemed like hours, offered some much needed respite. There was an old man sitting alone at the table next to us who was having a more enthralling conversation with himself than the two of us were.

After the meal, sitting in silence yet again, the guy suddenly announced: "I know something that really excited me the other day." ('Please be a story of some hilarious event/epic fail at the theme park where you work,' I silently prayed). His next comment: "In Starbucks they have an extra, regular sized coffee you can order even though they don't have it listed on their menu. It's called a 'short'."

And that's where the title of this entry comes in....as I said to my mum, "Even if I was a barista that's not an interesting anecdote!"

 

Ay karumba!

1940s Girl x